Walk in a Certain Direction
Even as I acquiesced to this institutional stance on homosexuality, I was getting closer to rejecting outright fundamental Christian theological beliefs. I heard a prominent divinity school professor proclaim both in class and at larger university forums that if the resurrection of Jesus did not occur, then nothing else within the Christian story really mattered. Or said more bluntly, “Jesus is Lord, and everything else is bullshit.”1 But I did not see it this way and I no longer believed in a literal physical resurrection of Jesus’ body nor the claim that Jesus was somehow God. However, this assessment did not lessen the power and significance of the life and teachings of Jesus for me.
I was still inspired by the counter-cultural and often counter-religious teachings of this very human being. I didn’t need for Jesus to be God to find his teachings meaningful, even meaningful enough to perhaps base my life on, as many others throughout the centuries have done.
I’m not sure where I heard it, but I loved the quote that “things weren’t true simply because Jesus said them, but Jesus said things that were simply true.” (I also no longer fully believe this because Jesus also said things that weren’t true, like the end of time was near. More on this to come.) And although most of the theological claims made by the church in regard to Jesus no longer mattered to me, I was still intrigued and wanted to learn more about the social observations and critique that Jesus seemed to believe were important — themes like concern for the poor, those who suffered physically or emotionally, and those that society turned its back on or kicked to the margins of existence.
I resonated especially with the classes that explored what I thought were these more practical and relevant matters, illuminated by professors who were out in the field and on the ground, and not simply reading, thinking, and writing, safe within the gothic towers of the academy.
Some significant examples include: A class taught by a former bishop of the United Methodist Church in South Africa who had served as chaplain to Nelson Mandela and was a national leader in the struggle against apartheid.2 Another taught by an enthusiastic ordained Baptist minister opening my eyes to the origins of the Black Church and the construction of race, introducing me to writers like Bell Hooks, James McBride, and Alice Walker.3 And finally, and probably my favorite, a class on economic justice and community development that brought me into contact with local leaders and activists working on the front lines of policy and services for those I believed Jesus cared most about.4
As I often tossed and turned at night in my third and final year of divinity school, I resolved that I couldn’t see myself back in Mississippi serving in some rural or small-town local church, convincing myself that the primary reason was that the local church wasn’t doing enough to address Jesus’ most pressing concerns anyway. I was somehow granted another year or so for vocational discernment and interviewed with one of the guest speakers I’d met through my most favorite class. This petite, feisty, and powerhouse of a woman had created a non-profit associated with the North Carolina Council of Churches.5
Although Jewish by birth, she now considered herself a United Methodist. Trained as a social worker, she was also very much motivated by what she believed were the mandates in both the Old and New Testaments to care for the poor and those often bypassed by the standard systems of society. She was motivated by verses like Amos 5:246, Matthew 257, and Micah 6:88. She was both humble and resolute as she spoke to our class and I reverberated with her closing statement, “I don’t know all the answers, but I know I have to walk in a certain direction.” I too wanted to walk in this direction and learn more about what it meant to care about the least among us.
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Stanley M. Hauerwas, Professor Emeritus of Divinity and Law at Duke University.
With God in the Crucible: Preaching Costly Discipleship, Peter J. Storey (2002).
The Christian Imagination: Theology and the Origins of Race, Willie James Jennings (2010).
Travelers on the Journey: Pastors Talk About Their Lives and Commitments, Mark D. Constantine (2005).
Forward Together: A Moral Message for the Nation. William J Barber II and Barbara Zelter (2014).
“But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.” New Revised Standard Version, Amos 5:24.
“For I was hungry and you gave me food, thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you gave me clothing, sick and you took care of me, in prison and you visited me. As you do this to the least of these, you do it to me.” NRSV, Matthew 25.
“What does the Lord require of you but to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with your God?” NRSV, Micah 6:8.