After fifty plus years of living, I’ve had a strong feeling that it is simply time and that I have something to say…some things that I must say. I’m no longer willing to keep my thoughts inside my head and live a life based on what others before or among me try and convince me is a “good” or “virtuous” life.
And although I have not often been able to envision what my life might look like at any point in the future, I’ve become clear that I will have much regret if I come to the end of my life and have not documented at least some of my most pivotal experiences and insights. It’s not that I now have any sense that I’m nearing the end of my life, but rather that I do not want to put off writing about it any longer.
As I write I realize that one of the most significant questions I am seeking to answer for myself is, “What is a human life for?” And more specifically and appropriately, as I want to be careful not to generalize or speculate in trying to answer this question for other lives, is to consider the more personal question, “What is my life for?”
To attempt to answer this, I’ve had to go back to the beginning…of my life anyway. Part I: In the Beginning, is a recollection of my childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood, trying to capture and illustrate what I remember observing or being taught about how the world works and more particularly how a young white middle class male raised in the deep south was expected or at least “preferred” to be.
When what was preferred of me no longer seemed possible and was in fact detrimental to my well-being and health, I determined to set out on a journey to re-examine everything I had been taught to be or believe. Part II: In Between, is a recount of this introspective and more spontaneous period of my life.
And finally, Part III: In the End (or the New Beginning) is a sharing of the insights, ideas, and perspectives gained up to this point of my life. Much of what I have learned out of my own experience and reason is contrary to what I believe I was taught in the first half of my life. And yet it is with this clarity and awareness that I am hopeful that the next portion of my life, however long it may be, will be even more vital, meaningful, and perhaps even impactful for others.
Will you join me on my journey even as I know you’re already on your own?
*Thanks for reading and/or listening. Continue to next post Color Outside the Lines.
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Jason.... loved reading your Page thoughts!