Gender continued...
Men Don't Act Too Silly
By junior high school I had already forsaken organized team sports like baseball, basketball, and soccer. I never really played football except in the neighborhood when the teams required another member to make them even. I had however stuck with tennis, learning the fundamentals from my dad early on and later taking group and individual lessons from a local teaching pro. I really enjoyed and was excelling at the game.
I began playing and lettering for the high school tennis team in the eighth grade. Our coaches at the high school were primarily football coaches who I guess got talked into coaching tennis during their off season. They knew very little about tennis itself. I’m not sure they even played. But they knew a lot about how to get us in shape. Running sprints, stadiums, and “suicides” were a large portion of our daily workouts, even after playing a number of sets on the court. Our athletic instructors had that quintessential coaching demeanor…tough, demanding, no-nonsense kind of guys.
On one occasion one of our coaches came to pick up us junior high students that were traveling with the high school team. I remember being excited and talkative, as I could be, and the coach telling me directly in front of my other teammates that I was kind of flakey. I didn’t know what that meant and don’t remember his further description after I asked, but on a similar occasion one of his colleagues, our head coach, called me a clown in front of our entire team.
No wonder athletes, particularly males, didn’t seem to smile in individual or team photos. I was slowly beginning to put it together that as a male I too was not supposed to be so expressive, animated, or lively. Men were supposed to be more stoic and serious. I would certainly try harder to start keeping these natural characteristics of mine more effectively under wraps.
*Thanks for reading and/or listening. Continue to next post on another subtle line for me Sexuality. To read from the beginning please go to Why I'm Writing posted in the Archives.
I love receiving your comments whether you share publicly or just email me directly.