Un-Pause: With a Pivot

Going Beyond the Memoir for Greater Well-Being

In writing Out of Line for Greater Well‑Being — even though it’s still in progress — I’ve uncovered a deeper longing and a clearer sense of purpose. It’s become my evolving response to the question I posed early in the memoir: What is my life for?

And it’s brought me closer to what I quietly hoped might emerge by the end of this writing journey:

“Increased clarity that the next portion of my life will be even more vital, meaningful, and perhaps even impactful for others.”

This clarity has arrived a little early, not as a final answer, but as a living direction.

It’s what my memoir has revealed so far, and where it’s still leading me. It’s pointing me toward the types of relationships and spaces I want to be part of, and even create, through continued writing, one-on-one conversations, and small reflection groups. I’m especially interested in engaging in conversations and small group discussions with other men, of any background or orientation, who are drawn to themes like authenticity, emotional honesty, vulnerability as strength, genuine connection, and a more fulfilling sense of meaning and purpose.

These are the currents beneath the storyline of my life, and the real heart of what I’ve been writing about all along.

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In a world moving faster toward shallowness, artificiality, loneliness, and disconnection, I believe relationships of depth are becoming rarer. Spaces for honesty and genuine connection feel increasingly uncommon, almost counter to the culture around us.

Even now, one in five men report having no close friendships. Only one in five turn to a friend for emotional support. And men die by suicide nearly four times more often than women.

This absence speaks volumes, and it underscores why I feel called to help create spaces where men can connect more deeply, honestly, and meaningfully.

While my focus is on offering more of these conversations with other men, that doesn’t mean excluding the support of women or non-binary people.

A female friend recently shared that many women are hoping men will seek greater emotional support, not solely from women, but through deeper relationships with other men.

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So, does this pivot make sense to you?

I still hope to continue writing my memoir. But I also feel called to write more directly about the deeper themes my memoir uncovered, and the societal needs exposed within those themes.

My aim is to stay attuned to the arc of Out of Line, while also moving beyond it, exploring new possibilities for connection and conversation, especially now, when we seem to need it more than ever.

In my next post, I’ll share a few specific ways men can connect more directly around these themes. I’ve been developing a simple structure for small groups designed to move beyond small talk into more honest, real conversations.

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And how about you?
Where do you find yourself in this moment, based on all I’ve shared?

1. This speaks to you - you’d love to connect.

2. You’re curious, and want to know more.

3. You’re interested, but the timing isn’t right.

4. You’re not sure this resonates, or you have a different response.

Whatever your response, I’m glad you’re here. I’ll leave us with the following quote, a reminder of what real connection can feel like:

“When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good.”—Carl Rogers

*Thanks as always for reading and/or listening. To read from the beginning go to Why I'm Writing.