In High-School I was beginning to discover some coping mechanisms, such as they were, that I realized could help me break through my barriers and progress past my previous peculiarities or simply leave them behind altogether. The first, a substance, was effective at helping me release many of the confounding inhibitions that I had concerning intimacy with the opposite sex. The second, was a possibility that would allow me to change geographical locations entirely, at least for a time, leaving behind every one who knew me and about me.
I really didn’t begin drinking until the tenth grade. The tenth was when we finally moved to the high school with the juniors and seniors, as the eighth and ninth grades in our town at that time were considered junior high and located at other campuses. Highschool was our chance to be with the older kids and do what they did. I wasn’t a huge drinker in high school. I didn’t drink during the week. But come the weekend, I was up for a few wine coolers or beers. I guess I justified breaking some rules if it helped me stay within the lines.
My mom had a rule that I could only go out on two nights of the weekend and one of the nights was always on Sundays at our church for United Methodist Youth Fellowship. That left either a Friday or Saturday night for other exploits. It’s not as if alcohol was the primary reason for going out, but it certainly played a part. There were other considerations like who to go out with, where to go, and what to do when we got there. I had the observation early in my high school days that the end of any given school week seemed to be spent planning for the weekend to come and the first of the week was spent talking about all that had occurred during the weekend past. And to be honest, I didn’t always have plans come the weekend. Perhaps it was my introverted nature or my lack of interest to take initiative and make plans. Often, I was simply content to stay home with my family or do my own thing.
Drinking didn’t cause me to be any more assertive with females but it did enable me to be more open to their advances, not that these occurred regularly. It also helped that one of my early high school admirers was a fairly aggressive senior who for some reason had her sights on me. Our first physical encounter began one summer evening on the shores of a popular local lake and continued throughout the twenty-five-minute drive back into town to honor our respective curfews.
My initial buzz at the beginning of the night had developed into full-fledged insobriety such that a gracious friend volunteered to drive all three of us home in the cab of my small red pick-up. He was also more than kind to endure our sustained kissing and groping until he could return us safely to our individual homes and have another friend retrieve him from mine. The last part of the night was a bit of a blur and I felt some regret that we had to be driven home. But I enjoyed the smooching and touching well enough and felt some pride that only after seven years or so I had once again been able to experience physical intimacy with the opposite sex. Surely there would be more opportunities. And, I was thinking that alcohol could certainly help make them possible.
*Thanks for reading and/or listening. Continue to next post Coping continued...Escape to D.C. To read from the beginning please go to Why I'm Writing.
I love receiving your comments if you’d like to share publicly or just email me directly.